Fergie vs. P!nk

P!nk wins.

Because Fergie sucks, that's why.

Because P!nk does not, that's why.

Fergie almost single-voicedly ruined the Super Bowl half-time show. P!nk's style would fit in great with a football game... Plus the dancers would not have to suffer the embarrassment of not being in-sync... they could just jam to the beat.

Fergie tries to sing like a rocker. P!nk can actually do it, and does it better than a lot of mainstream rock stars, regardless of gender. I'm talking to you, Green-Day lead singer guy.

P!nk did "Raise your Glass," which provides emotional support for social outcasts. Fergie needed the other members of Black-Eyed Peas to even accomplish the recording of a passably-lame song that pretends to care about the children of the world, "Where is the Love?"

P!nk has an I-will-bite-your-nose-off-if-you-sass-me attitude. Fergie has a look-at-my-boobs-that's-why-I'm-famous attitude. Fergie shows off those boobs as much as she can. P!nk has a nose ring.

P!nk's stage name is better than Fergie's. As a matter of fact, P!nk's real name (Alecia) is better than Fergie's stage name. Yup, P!nk would be a better pop star than Fergie even if she just went by Alecia and never died her hair.

P!nk could kick your ass, while Fergie does not sound even slightly good without Slash. (Yes, I realize that the two points do not relate to each other. I just like the rhyme.)

P!nk sounds cool live, at least on this Youtube video. Fergie... well.... let's just say she can't even keep up with the over-rated Axl Rose. Skip to 4:15 to get an idea of what I mean.

Fergie tries to sing radio-friendly songs. P!nk doesn't care if her content isn't family friendly. Heck, Alecia doesn't even care if she has words bleeped out.

So, like I said, P!nk wins.

Note: In short, what you have basically just read is an oversimplified, fallacy-ridden post about why I don't like Fergie and think that P!nk is more worth one's time to listen to and money spent. I was biased against Fergie long before I realized that I really respected P!nk. I want to clink glasses and party at a club with P!nk. I want someone to punch Fergie in the face... not a guy, because that would be wrong.