Being a vocalist means that I don't eat chocolate before 9 p.m.
Being a vocalist means having a feeling that the waitress scoffs at me behind my back when I order a water with my beer.
Being a vocalist means taking a good breath before picking up the phone and saying, "Thank you for calling Courtyard by Marriott of Salina, this is Michael."
Being a vocalist means that I don't talk for more than five minutes straight, and being grateful when people give me hinting looks if I ramble anyway.
It means that a night of singing karaoke is a night to say, "Damn the audience, I'm gonna sing this song because I FREAKING FEEL LIKE IT!" ... because I just need to pretend that someone likes the stuff that I like to sing when I'm at home.
It means "Ooooo, macaroni and cheese sounds good! ...oh, wait, I have a show tomorrow/tonight... Ramen, broccoli, and apple juice it is."
Ditto for a bowl of cereal when I wake up on show day. Not happening.
Being a vocalist means riding the exercise bicycle because I reeeeally need to hit those F#s, Gs, and G#s with more ease.
It means that no, I cannot belt powerful head voice/falsetto songs by progressive metal band Dream Theater all night long the night before an evening of barbershopping for some retired folks.
It means that I cannot shout my malcontentions at bandwagon Red Sox fans all through a 3-hour game at Kauffman Stadium (home of the Royals) in Kansas City, MO.
It means, "Thank you, director of the Salina Chorale, for moving me away from all of the other tenors so that I don't have to shout just to hear myself well enough to know if I'm on key" or "Please, guys, can you turn your guitars down just a little so that I don't have to shout?"
It means that I must not, no matter how much fun it is, try to imitate Steven Tyler... I'd prefer not to have vocal chord surgery twice before I turn 70.
Being a vocalist means saying to myself, "I don't care if you're not thirsty! Walk over to that sink and pour yourself a glass of water and drink the whole thing until it's gone."
It means that I may not, when I take my Grama to church at 10:30 a.m., belt out all the hymns. For heaven's sake, my voice should still be in bed. Gently, now, gently.
No screaming in anger. Just, none. Nope. Can't do it. Doesn't matter if a certain un-named somebody stole my beer.
Being a vocalist means speaking in the easiest way possible, even if it means that, at 25, I sound like I'm 16.
It's massaging my throat and my jaw and that, somehow, most sung sounds have a little bit of "n" in them.
It's remembering that high notes should feel low, and low notes should feel high.
It's taking breaths that fill my lungs to my hips, and pushing them out 'til it hurts.
It's carrying a bottle 'o' water in my car... just in case I need to fill it.
Being a vocalist is putting feeling into everything that I say or sing.
In short, it sometimes seems like nearly everything that I do is in preparation, in waiting, and in anticipation of, the next time that I put my heart on the line, expressing myself in the way that I've always felt compelled to do so since before I can even remember.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Being born to rock
I was created to learn.
But I was born to rock.
Note: "To rock," in this instance, is defined as "to energetically perform and/or express oneself musically.
The end.
But I was born to rock.
Note: "To rock," in this instance, is defined as "to energetically perform and/or express oneself musically.
The end.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Fergie vs. P!nk
P!nk wins.
Because Fergie sucks, that's why.
Because P!nk does not, that's why.
Fergie almost single-voicedly ruined the Super Bowl half-time show. P!nk's style would fit in great with a football game... Plus the dancers would not have to suffer the embarrassment of not being in-sync... they could just jam to the beat.
Fergie tries to sing like a rocker. P!nk can actually do it, and does it better than a lot of mainstream rock stars, regardless of gender. I'm talking to you, Green-Day lead singer guy.
P!nk did "Raise your Glass," which provides emotional support for social outcasts. Fergie needed the other members of Black-Eyed Peas to even accomplish the recording of a passably-lame song that pretends to care about the children of the world, "Where is the Love?"
P!nk has an I-will-bite-your-nose-off-if-you-sass-me attitude. Fergie has a look-at-my-boobs-that's-why-I'm-famous attitude. Fergie shows off those boobs as much as she can. P!nk has a nose ring.
P!nk's stage name is better than Fergie's. As a matter of fact, P!nk's real name (Alecia) is better than Fergie's stage name. Yup, P!nk would be a better pop star than Fergie even if she just went by Alecia and never died her hair.
P!nk could kick your ass, while Fergie does not sound even slightly good without Slash. (Yes, I realize that the two points do not relate to each other. I just like the rhyme.)
P!nk sounds cool live, at least on this Youtube video. Fergie... well.... let's just say she can't even keep up with the over-rated Axl Rose. Skip to 4:15 to get an idea of what I mean.
Fergie tries to sing radio-friendly songs. P!nk doesn't care if her content isn't family friendly. Heck, Alecia doesn't even care if she has words bleeped out.
So, like I said, P!nk wins.
Note: In short, what you have basically just read is an oversimplified, fallacy-ridden post about why I don't like Fergie and think that P!nk is more worth one's time to listen to and money spent. I was biased against Fergie long before I realized that I really respected P!nk. I want to clink glasses and party at a club with P!nk. I want someone to punch Fergie in the face... not a guy, because that would be wrong.
Because Fergie sucks, that's why.
Because P!nk does not, that's why.
Fergie almost single-voicedly ruined the Super Bowl half-time show. P!nk's style would fit in great with a football game... Plus the dancers would not have to suffer the embarrassment of not being in-sync... they could just jam to the beat.
Fergie tries to sing like a rocker. P!nk can actually do it, and does it better than a lot of mainstream rock stars, regardless of gender. I'm talking to you, Green-Day lead singer guy.
P!nk did "Raise your Glass," which provides emotional support for social outcasts. Fergie needed the other members of Black-Eyed Peas to even accomplish the recording of a passably-lame song that pretends to care about the children of the world, "Where is the Love?"
P!nk has an I-will-bite-your-nose-off-if-you-sass-me attitude. Fergie has a look-at-my-boobs-that's-why-I'm-famous attitude. Fergie shows off those boobs as much as she can. P!nk has a nose ring.
P!nk's stage name is better than Fergie's. As a matter of fact, P!nk's real name (Alecia) is better than Fergie's stage name. Yup, P!nk would be a better pop star than Fergie even if she just went by Alecia and never died her hair.
P!nk could kick your ass, while Fergie does not sound even slightly good without Slash. (Yes, I realize that the two points do not relate to each other. I just like the rhyme.)
P!nk sounds cool live, at least on this Youtube video. Fergie... well.... let's just say she can't even keep up with the over-rated Axl Rose. Skip to 4:15 to get an idea of what I mean.
Fergie tries to sing radio-friendly songs. P!nk doesn't care if her content isn't family friendly. Heck, Alecia doesn't even care if she has words bleeped out.
So, like I said, P!nk wins.
Note: In short, what you have basically just read is an oversimplified, fallacy-ridden post about why I don't like Fergie and think that P!nk is more worth one's time to listen to and money spent. I was biased against Fergie long before I realized that I really respected P!nk. I want to clink glasses and party at a club with P!nk. I want someone to punch Fergie in the face... not a guy, because that would be wrong.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Bernard Spiel tells you about standing outside the fire... or not
Nope. I am totally walking inside the fire, hoping that I get burned.
In a series of posts that I will hope will be wildly successful such that it will double my followers, I will break down, or (for those of you who like bigger words) analyze song lyrics.
How does one stand in the fire? Well, it's a country song, so it's not like it's hard to figure out. Here are the lyrics to "Standing Outside the Fire" as recorded by Garth Brooks.
So, to stand inside the fire, one simply has to do the opposite of what the song says that many do. That being wait around for love, or, worse yet, not try for it at all. But, and perhaps this is a criticism of a song that I loved growing up, how many people really don't try for love? Most of us, each in our own way, no matter what love means to us, try for love. Even the religiously celibate pursue a close personal relationship with their Creator.
In other words, this song is merely an affirmation of a lifestyle of continuing to "take a chance [that] love might exist." The chorus goes on to say "I can't abide standing outside the fire," effectively using a word that pretty much no one uses in a song that discusses an otherwise common topic, that of "taking a chance on love."
So, cheers to this single from 1993's "In Pieces" album for following the tried-and-true guideline for successful country lyric song-writing: tell the folks something that they already know, and probably already do. Oh, and if you make a video, the use of a little fire probably wouldn't hurt. (Skip to about 1:57 in to see some awesome early-90s pyrotechnics. Hey, it beats what Billy Joel did.)
Oh, and, of course, the video has nothing to do with someone chasing love... it depicts a disabled kid trying to make the regular track team. C'est la vie.
In a series of posts that I will hope will be wildly successful such that it will double my followers, I will break down, or (for those of you who like bigger words) analyze song lyrics.
How does one stand in the fire? Well, it's a country song, so it's not like it's hard to figure out. Here are the lyrics to "Standing Outside the Fire" as recorded by Garth Brooks.
We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk it the tables being turned
We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always come with getting burned
But you got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
So, to stand inside the fire, one simply has to do the opposite of what the song says that many do. That being wait around for love, or, worse yet, not try for it at all. But, and perhaps this is a criticism of a song that I loved growing up, how many people really don't try for love? Most of us, each in our own way, no matter what love means to us, try for love. Even the religiously celibate pursue a close personal relationship with their Creator.
In other words, this song is merely an affirmation of a lifestyle of continuing to "take a chance [that] love might exist." The chorus goes on to say "I can't abide standing outside the fire," effectively using a word that pretty much no one uses in a song that discusses an otherwise common topic, that of "taking a chance on love."
So, cheers to this single from 1993's "In Pieces" album for following the tried-and-true guideline for successful country lyric song-writing: tell the folks something that they already know, and probably already do. Oh, and if you make a video, the use of a little fire probably wouldn't hurt. (Skip to about 1:57 in to see some awesome early-90s pyrotechnics. Hey, it beats what Billy Joel did.)
Oh, and, of course, the video has nothing to do with someone chasing love... it depicts a disabled kid trying to make the regular track team. C'est la vie.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
The secret to cliff-jumping
I, Bernard Spiel, nom de plum maker extraordinaire (according to the only opinion that matters in self-ego feeding, my own), have discovered for myself the secret to finding the guts to overcome the death-will-come-to-you-if-you-do-this inhibitor that is largely present in human psyche, at least as it applies to cliff-jumping. Read on!
Before you attempt to jump off a cliff for the first time, shout a battle cry. The battle cry can be anything. For me, I shouted TROGDOR!!! the first couple of times, and, then, I started to shout names of bands that I liked.
Funny expressions can also work. Really, anything that gets your blood flowing a little, getting you excited for the plunge, is worth a shot.
Just take a couple of steps, proclaim your phrase of choice, leave the rocky security beneath you feet, and enjoy the free fall!
It worked for me, and for my good friend who brought me with him to his family's vacation spot, so, perhaps, it will work for you.
Happy jumping!
P.S. You may wish to point your toes if you pencil dive. Just f.y.i.
Before you attempt to jump off a cliff for the first time, shout a battle cry. The battle cry can be anything. For me, I shouted TROGDOR!!! the first couple of times, and, then, I started to shout names of bands that I liked.
Funny expressions can also work. Really, anything that gets your blood flowing a little, getting you excited for the plunge, is worth a shot.
Just take a couple of steps, proclaim your phrase of choice, leave the rocky security beneath you feet, and enjoy the free fall!
It worked for me, and for my good friend who brought me with him to his family's vacation spot, so, perhaps, it will work for you.
Happy jumping!
P.S. You may wish to point your toes if you pencil dive. Just f.y.i.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Ranking the Goo Goo Dolls' albums
This will be quick and simple.
The criteria for best Goo Goo Dolls albums are my 1) opinions on the quality of the songs and 2) overall cohesiveness of the album. Overall cohesiveness, in this sense, is, basically, answered by the following question: can the listener sit down and listen to the album straight through without feeling that the flow is broken up? In other words, do the songs on the album gel together? So, from least-awesome to most awesome, with the 5 best songs from each album listed in no particular order after my justification of location in the rankings, here we go.
Note: As mentioned in the song rankings, I've never heard the songs from First Release, so I cannot judge that album.
8. Jed (1989)
This album, while a lot of fun if one is in a punky mood, just does not compare with the rest of their body of work. Something is rather odd with the sound production of the album. Or maybe it's that the words are hard to understand... makes you wonder if they were inebriated during the production. Hmmm...
Best Songs: Down on the Corner, Up Yours, Sex Maggot, Out of Sight, 7th of Last Month (or Iggy the Cat Gets a Bath)
7. Something for the Rest of Us (2010)
Despite the fact that I love "Notbroken," this album falls way down here because I feel that "Sweetest Lie" sounds nothing like a Goo Goo Dolls song. Even if it has some pop appeal, it's just not them. Also, I don't feel that the album fits together very well. Some great tracks, but the album relies heavily on lyrical content, so much so that, even though the lyrics are nice, they're a little too over-generalized for me. The sounds of the album are good, though. I enjoy the music.
Best Songs: Notbroken, Still your Song, Home, Say You're Free, As I Am
6. Hold me Up (1990)
More well-produced than Jed, more fluid delivery of the songs throughout. This album actually has pretty good cohesion, but the songs on here just aren't as good as the Goos would show that they could do later.
Best Songs: Laughing, Never Take the Place of your Man, Two Days in February, Hey, Just the Way you Are
5. A Boy Named Goo (1995)
I really feel that this album put the band on the brink of greatness. Some wonderful songs, and actually some truly excellent lyric-writing. Musically, though, this album doesn't seem to quite flow together as well. Individually, though, each song has good merit and is worth your time to check out... especially the five listed below.
Best Songs: Long Way Down, Naked, Name, Something Bad, Burning Up
4. Superstar Car Wash (1993)
Superstar and Boy are rather similar, but I like the guitar effects on Superstar better, and I feel that this album is more cohesive than its immediate post-decessor (if you will). The lyrics are very straightforward, for the most part, so this is an album that a new Goo Goo Dolls listener might find helpful to listen to in order to get a good idea of the character of the band... at least as far as song-writing is concerned. Superstar Car Wash is a good album to play in the background while you are havin' a couple brews.
Best Songs: String of Lies, Girl Right Next to Me, We are the Normal, Lucky Star, Close Your Eyes
3. Let Love In (2006)
This album is wonderful. It just drips with heartfelt emotion. It's a good album for end-of-a-relationship catharsis. Only knock on this one is that the flow is just SLIGHTLY off, probably because one may find him/herself so excited to hear the songs listed below that he/she may skip over what's in between. More to the point, the Goos' cover of "Give a Little Bit" is on this album, and I find it lame, so, I skip over it.
Best Songs: Better Days, Without you Here, Can't Let it Go, Let Love in, Feel the Silence
2. Dizzy up the Girl (1998)
The song-writing on this album is, well, dizzying... four top-twenty hits, and hidden gems like "Bullet Proof," "Hate this Place," and "Acoustic #3," not to mention Robby's excellent contributions of gravely delight, "January Friend" and "Extra Pale." So, how could I not put this album not be #1, especially when a #1 song is barely in my top five from the album? Read my comments on Gutterflower to find out.
Best Songs: Iris, Black Balloon, Hate this Place, Bullet Proof, Slide
1. Gutterflower (2002)
I love everything about this album... heck, even the design on the CD itself is cool. Gutterflower, to me, is artistic, pleasing, and an album to which one can rock out and get into or play in the background while filling out paperwork. There is enough variety in style to keep the listener interested, and enough similarity for the listener to be sure that he/she is still listening to the same band. If, from reading my comments here, you are tempted to listen to only one Goo Goo Dolls album, let it be this one.
Best Songs: This album is here because there is no drop-off. None of these songs is great as "Iris," "Black Balloon," "Naked," or "Name," but every one of them is within two or three ticks in quality of the others on this album. My personal favorites are: It's Over, Truth is a Whisper, What a Scene, Big Machine, and Up, Up, Up
Members of the Goo Goo Dolls: First Release - Superstar Car Wash: Johnny Rzeznik, vocals and guitar; Robby Takac, vocals and bass; George Tutuska, drums. A Boy Named Goo - present: Rzeznik and Takac, same rolls; Mike Malinin, drums.
The criteria for best Goo Goo Dolls albums are my 1) opinions on the quality of the songs and 2) overall cohesiveness of the album. Overall cohesiveness, in this sense, is, basically, answered by the following question: can the listener sit down and listen to the album straight through without feeling that the flow is broken up? In other words, do the songs on the album gel together? So, from least-awesome to most awesome, with the 5 best songs from each album listed in no particular order after my justification of location in the rankings, here we go.
Note: As mentioned in the song rankings, I've never heard the songs from First Release, so I cannot judge that album.
8. Jed (1989)
This album, while a lot of fun if one is in a punky mood, just does not compare with the rest of their body of work. Something is rather odd with the sound production of the album. Or maybe it's that the words are hard to understand... makes you wonder if they were inebriated during the production. Hmmm...
Best Songs: Down on the Corner, Up Yours, Sex Maggot, Out of Sight, 7th of Last Month (or Iggy the Cat Gets a Bath)
7. Something for the Rest of Us (2010)
Despite the fact that I love "Notbroken," this album falls way down here because I feel that "Sweetest Lie" sounds nothing like a Goo Goo Dolls song. Even if it has some pop appeal, it's just not them. Also, I don't feel that the album fits together very well. Some great tracks, but the album relies heavily on lyrical content, so much so that, even though the lyrics are nice, they're a little too over-generalized for me. The sounds of the album are good, though. I enjoy the music.
Best Songs: Notbroken, Still your Song, Home, Say You're Free, As I Am
6. Hold me Up (1990)
More well-produced than Jed, more fluid delivery of the songs throughout. This album actually has pretty good cohesion, but the songs on here just aren't as good as the Goos would show that they could do later.
Best Songs: Laughing, Never Take the Place of your Man, Two Days in February, Hey, Just the Way you Are
5. A Boy Named Goo (1995)
I really feel that this album put the band on the brink of greatness. Some wonderful songs, and actually some truly excellent lyric-writing. Musically, though, this album doesn't seem to quite flow together as well. Individually, though, each song has good merit and is worth your time to check out... especially the five listed below.
Best Songs: Long Way Down, Naked, Name, Something Bad, Burning Up
4. Superstar Car Wash (1993)
Superstar and Boy are rather similar, but I like the guitar effects on Superstar better, and I feel that this album is more cohesive than its immediate post-decessor (if you will). The lyrics are very straightforward, for the most part, so this is an album that a new Goo Goo Dolls listener might find helpful to listen to in order to get a good idea of the character of the band... at least as far as song-writing is concerned. Superstar Car Wash is a good album to play in the background while you are havin' a couple brews.
Best Songs: String of Lies, Girl Right Next to Me, We are the Normal, Lucky Star, Close Your Eyes
3. Let Love In (2006)
This album is wonderful. It just drips with heartfelt emotion. It's a good album for end-of-a-relationship catharsis. Only knock on this one is that the flow is just SLIGHTLY off, probably because one may find him/herself so excited to hear the songs listed below that he/she may skip over what's in between. More to the point, the Goos' cover of "Give a Little Bit" is on this album, and I find it lame, so, I skip over it.
Best Songs: Better Days, Without you Here, Can't Let it Go, Let Love in, Feel the Silence
2. Dizzy up the Girl (1998)
The song-writing on this album is, well, dizzying... four top-twenty hits, and hidden gems like "Bullet Proof," "Hate this Place," and "Acoustic #3," not to mention Robby's excellent contributions of gravely delight, "January Friend" and "Extra Pale." So, how could I not put this album not be #1, especially when a #1 song is barely in my top five from the album? Read my comments on Gutterflower to find out.
Best Songs: Iris, Black Balloon, Hate this Place, Bullet Proof, Slide
1. Gutterflower (2002)
I love everything about this album... heck, even the design on the CD itself is cool. Gutterflower, to me, is artistic, pleasing, and an album to which one can rock out and get into or play in the background while filling out paperwork. There is enough variety in style to keep the listener interested, and enough similarity for the listener to be sure that he/she is still listening to the same band. If, from reading my comments here, you are tempted to listen to only one Goo Goo Dolls album, let it be this one.
Best Songs: This album is here because there is no drop-off. None of these songs is great as "Iris," "Black Balloon," "Naked," or "Name," but every one of them is within two or three ticks in quality of the others on this album. My personal favorites are: It's Over, Truth is a Whisper, What a Scene, Big Machine, and Up, Up, Up
Members of the Goo Goo Dolls: First Release - Superstar Car Wash: Johnny Rzeznik, vocals and guitar; Robby Takac, vocals and bass; George Tutuska, drums. A Boy Named Goo - present: Rzeznik and Takac, same rolls; Mike Malinin, drums.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Die, TV... die
Television as we know it is dying, and I, for one, am thrilled.
I am frustrated by the following things when it comes to television... 24-hour "news" networks, blackouts of sports programming, paying for channels that one never watches, and, oh, yeah, 3-6 minute commercial breaks.
Insult to free speech: CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, etc.
24-hour "news" networks are an abomination. I will come right out and tell you that I use the internet (because I can read a story and then quickly read something else) and watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report when I feel like keeping up with the world. "Oh, but Bernard," you politely jest, "aren't you just a nerd? Nerds watch that stuff. TV isn't hurting anyone." I may or may not be a nerd, and, if I am, I'm not a very good one in that I have never once played "Magic, the Gathering," don't pass time by doing Calculus for fun, and don't speak Klingon (though I do, it is true, know what all those things are). The reason that I watch TDS and TCR is because they do not pretend to be what they are not. They inform us and entertain us at the same time. They do not have so-called "news room" segments that are nothing but some family bitching about mistreatment by a company. And, for the visually-oriented, it's not like one cannot watch video clips of hurricanes online.
I believe that news channels, and modern journalism in general, is more entertainment than it is who, what, where, when, how, and why. "Just the facts, Jack" is boring to many. "Sex sells" in advertising and movies, but opinions and stance-taking sell in journalism. We like to converse... we seemingly live off of it. We eat up columns, rankings, polls, video clips and photos because we like to connect with others, whether through arguing or agreeing. We want to know what people think. Journalism is entertainment. Older journalists can lament the loss of good journalism, the honest observer who comments from afar and lets the consumer make his/her own judgments, and I see their point, but those days are not coming back. Modern journalism is trending towards news entertainment, and, in my opinion, what makes the 24-hour news shows so evil is that they are pretending to be something that they aren't. Call it entertainment! Stop making your millions off of people who have not learned to know what you are up to.
Note: To be fair, understand that I, as well, believe that my column is entertainment for you. It's for your reading pleasure, your agreeing/disagreeing pleasure, as well as for my own sake. By joining the blogosphere, I openly declare myself as an observer and commenter who hopes that you will enjoy his writing style, tell all your friends to read my work, and that I will maybe, someday, be able to make enough money or gain enough popularity such that I will be able to pay off my student loans and travel around the world. I've done myself a disservice by waiting so long to get started with a writing career. I ask you to support me in this. If I am not entertaining you, let me know what I can do better.
Blackouts
I'll sum up my feelings for blackouts with a quick pretend condescending comment by a network executive:
No, little boy, you can't watch that Royals-Rockies game on the Altitude channel in Denver even though the game is in Denver. Fox Sports Kansas City is not showing the game, so you don't get to watch it."
My loathing for commercials
Yes, it's true that I love the new DQ "Hiking" commercial, so much so that I recorded an audio tribute clip to it on phone, but, on the whole, I can't stand the damn things. I don't mind the occasional commercial while I watch a TV show online... I usually have to watch about 6 fewer minutes of commercial per half-hour show. When I sit down to watch something, I want to watch that, and nothing else.
Besides, long commercial breaks are nonsensical in that they are very unlikely to achieve their goal of increased sales by people seeing their promo... folks just leave the room and come back 5 minutes later.
What bugs me perhaps more than any of this stuff is that there always seems to be an excuse. "Oh, it's to get fans in the stadium." ... "Well, people keep watching, and we keep making money, so we'll keep the channels on." Blah, blah, blah. It's about money. As long as they keep making money, they will keep doing things the way that they have been doing them as long as they can still turn a profit. (They being the corporate bureaucrats who make decisions.
All of this said, I comfort myself by noting the following trends currently going on, leading me to believe that the role of regularly-scheduled TV broadcasting.
1. Movies being on demand at home.More and more people use Netflix to watch movies. Imagine that most in the country pay the same price for a monthly subscription to Netflix as they do for one ticket to a big-screen movie (or less, especially for a 3D movie). Watching movies on TV channels that show commercials during the film is about as frustrating as being an Oakland A's fan, waiting for your team to score runs to support the awesome pitchers.
2. Sports programming being available online. One can watch pretty much every single major league baseball game of the entire season for $120... for the entire season... Why would one pay $35-90/month for DirecTV if the main reason that he got it was to watch baseball? People of the younger generations are less intimidated (or not at all) of the internet than the older folks, which leads me to...
3. The passing of the older generation.Trust me, I'm going to miss my grandmother when she dies more than anything in the world... I will be more heartbroken than if the Royals left town, the Jayhawks quit playing basketball, Sam Brownback became president, all the cocoa-producing plants in the world suddenly all died, and both Dream Theater and the Goo Goo Dolls broke up... all at once. That said, older people have always relied on TV and newspaper for news and entertainment. If you will suffer me to give you a quick anecdote, read the following: once, I got so frustrated with a TV broadcast from one of the ridiculous 24-hour "news" channels, I asked Grama point-blank: Why do you watch this crap? Her response? "I like to know what's going on."
Of course, HD TVs are all the rage now, but, as the economy continues to struggle, and energy prices continue to soar, perhaps fewer and fewer people will buy the expensive, though brilliant, TVs, and maybe just buy hi-def monitors instead. As this happens more and more, perhaps all of those things that I hate will die, and the internet can lead a joyful revolution.
I am frustrated by the following things when it comes to television... 24-hour "news" networks, blackouts of sports programming, paying for channels that one never watches, and, oh, yeah, 3-6 minute commercial breaks.
Insult to free speech: CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, etc.
24-hour "news" networks are an abomination. I will come right out and tell you that I use the internet (because I can read a story and then quickly read something else) and watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report when I feel like keeping up with the world. "Oh, but Bernard," you politely jest, "aren't you just a nerd? Nerds watch that stuff. TV isn't hurting anyone." I may or may not be a nerd, and, if I am, I'm not a very good one in that I have never once played "Magic, the Gathering," don't pass time by doing Calculus for fun, and don't speak Klingon (though I do, it is true, know what all those things are). The reason that I watch TDS and TCR is because they do not pretend to be what they are not. They inform us and entertain us at the same time. They do not have so-called "news room" segments that are nothing but some family bitching about mistreatment by a company. And, for the visually-oriented, it's not like one cannot watch video clips of hurricanes online.
I believe that news channels, and modern journalism in general, is more entertainment than it is who, what, where, when, how, and why. "Just the facts, Jack" is boring to many. "Sex sells" in advertising and movies, but opinions and stance-taking sell in journalism. We like to converse... we seemingly live off of it. We eat up columns, rankings, polls, video clips and photos because we like to connect with others, whether through arguing or agreeing. We want to know what people think. Journalism is entertainment. Older journalists can lament the loss of good journalism, the honest observer who comments from afar and lets the consumer make his/her own judgments, and I see their point, but those days are not coming back. Modern journalism is trending towards news entertainment, and, in my opinion, what makes the 24-hour news shows so evil is that they are pretending to be something that they aren't. Call it entertainment! Stop making your millions off of people who have not learned to know what you are up to.
Note: To be fair, understand that I, as well, believe that my column is entertainment for you. It's for your reading pleasure, your agreeing/disagreeing pleasure, as well as for my own sake. By joining the blogosphere, I openly declare myself as an observer and commenter who hopes that you will enjoy his writing style, tell all your friends to read my work, and that I will maybe, someday, be able to make enough money or gain enough popularity such that I will be able to pay off my student loans and travel around the world. I've done myself a disservice by waiting so long to get started with a writing career. I ask you to support me in this. If I am not entertaining you, let me know what I can do better.
Blackouts
I'll sum up my feelings for blackouts with a quick pretend condescending comment by a network executive:
No, little boy, you can't watch that Royals-Rockies game on the Altitude channel in Denver even though the game is in Denver. Fox Sports Kansas City is not showing the game, so you don't get to watch it."
My loathing for commercials
Yes, it's true that I love the new DQ "Hiking" commercial, so much so that I recorded an audio tribute clip to it on phone, but, on the whole, I can't stand the damn things. I don't mind the occasional commercial while I watch a TV show online... I usually have to watch about 6 fewer minutes of commercial per half-hour show. When I sit down to watch something, I want to watch that, and nothing else.
Besides, long commercial breaks are nonsensical in that they are very unlikely to achieve their goal of increased sales by people seeing their promo... folks just leave the room and come back 5 minutes later.
What bugs me perhaps more than any of this stuff is that there always seems to be an excuse. "Oh, it's to get fans in the stadium." ... "Well, people keep watching, and we keep making money, so we'll keep the channels on." Blah, blah, blah. It's about money. As long as they keep making money, they will keep doing things the way that they have been doing them as long as they can still turn a profit. (They being the corporate bureaucrats who make decisions.
All of this said, I comfort myself by noting the following trends currently going on, leading me to believe that the role of regularly-scheduled TV broadcasting.
1. Movies being on demand at home.More and more people use Netflix to watch movies. Imagine that most in the country pay the same price for a monthly subscription to Netflix as they do for one ticket to a big-screen movie (or less, especially for a 3D movie). Watching movies on TV channels that show commercials during the film is about as frustrating as being an Oakland A's fan, waiting for your team to score runs to support the awesome pitchers.
2. Sports programming being available online. One can watch pretty much every single major league baseball game of the entire season for $120... for the entire season... Why would one pay $35-90/month for DirecTV if the main reason that he got it was to watch baseball? People of the younger generations are less intimidated (or not at all) of the internet than the older folks, which leads me to...
3. The passing of the older generation.Trust me, I'm going to miss my grandmother when she dies more than anything in the world... I will be more heartbroken than if the Royals left town, the Jayhawks quit playing basketball, Sam Brownback became president, all the cocoa-producing plants in the world suddenly all died, and both Dream Theater and the Goo Goo Dolls broke up... all at once. That said, older people have always relied on TV and newspaper for news and entertainment. If you will suffer me to give you a quick anecdote, read the following: once, I got so frustrated with a TV broadcast from one of the ridiculous 24-hour "news" channels, I asked Grama point-blank: Why do you watch this crap? Her response? "I like to know what's going on."
Of course, HD TVs are all the rage now, but, as the economy continues to struggle, and energy prices continue to soar, perhaps fewer and fewer people will buy the expensive, though brilliant, TVs, and maybe just buy hi-def monitors instead. As this happens more and more, perhaps all of those things that I hate will die, and the internet can lead a joyful revolution.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Ranking the Goo Goo Dolls' songs
The Goos are, depending on the day, my second-through-fifth favorite musical artist.
They have some wonderful songs, portraying an emotional honesty and rawness that has always drawn me in. Here are my rankings in three categories. The band members are Johnny Rzeznik [REZ-nik], guitar and vocals, Robby Takac, bass and vocals, and Mike Malinin, drums.
Notes: The only caveat to this list is that I do not know any songs from the first release because I don't have enough money to buy it just to add it to my collection. Also, songs written by Johnny that aren't GGD songs are not under consideration. So, for example, songs from the movie Treasure Planet are not eligible. I included the duets in my considerations for the list of Johnny songs. Johnny and Robby's songs are ranked separately because they are, in general, two verydifferent kinds of animal.
Favorite Songs written by Johnny Rzeznik:
To be honest, I'm ranking these largely from my gut reactions. I will say, though, that, in order to determine which are the best, and figure my gut reactions out, I asked myself if the song was the best of what Johnny's songs typically offer: emotional honesty, passionate expression, and rawness. (Album on which it appears in parentheses.)
1. Black Balloon (Dizzy up the Girl)
2. It's Over (Gutterflower)
3. Truth is a Whisper (Gutterflower)
4. Iris (Dizzy up the Girl)
5. Notbroken (Something for the Rest of Us)
2. Amigone
3. January Friend
P.S. The Goos are from Buffalo, NY...
4. Slave Girl
5. Out of Sight
Just missing the cut... Now I Hear, Laughing, Sex Maggot
For funsies, I'll rank the covers:
1. Never Take the Place of Your Man
2. Down on the Corner
They have some wonderful songs, portraying an emotional honesty and rawness that has always drawn me in. Here are my rankings in three categories. The band members are Johnny Rzeznik [REZ-nik], guitar and vocals, Robby Takac, bass and vocals, and Mike Malinin, drums.
Notes: The only caveat to this list is that I do not know any songs from the first release because I don't have enough money to buy it just to add it to my collection. Also, songs written by Johnny that aren't GGD songs are not under consideration. So, for example, songs from the movie Treasure Planet are not eligible. I included the duets in my considerations for the list of Johnny songs. Johnny and Robby's songs are ranked separately because they are, in general, two verydifferent kinds of animal.
Favorite Songs written by Johnny Rzeznik:
To be honest, I'm ranking these largely from my gut reactions. I will say, though, that, in order to determine which are the best, and figure my gut reactions out, I asked myself if the song was the best of what Johnny's songs typically offer: emotional honesty, passionate expression, and rawness. (Album on which it appears in parentheses.)
1. Black Balloon (Dizzy up the Girl)
I can never get sick of listening to this song. It's largely assumed that this song is about the emotional turmoil of one's feelings for a girl who is addicted to illegal drugs. (I agree.) Many would put Iris in the top spot, but I feel that Black Balloon speaks more to emotional struggle... Johnny's really good at tapping into emotional struggle and how it affects us.
2. It's Over (Gutterflower)
A song few know because it was never released as a single, probably because it is not very radio friendly. If you've ever had an intimate relationship end on someone else's terms, you may be able to relate to the strong shift in Johnny's vocal delivery and the guitar effects used between the verses and the choruses.
3. Truth is a Whisper (Gutterflower)
From the foreshadowingly-downplayed mood of the musical introduction, the listener can sense that he/she is about to be taken on quite the emotional ride. Such a perfect way to close an album. Imagine yourself with shoulder-length straight hair, really letting the mood of the song dictate how you would sing this song, falling down over your eyes and across your cheeks as you jam, and you will know what I mean.
4. Iris (Dizzy up the Girl)
Johhny sure can write a soundtrack song, can't he? If you don't know this song or why people love it, you probably lived under the proverbial rock in the late 90s. If you did, watch "City of Angels." Then, listen to Iris. It's a wonderful song. Case closed.
5. Notbroken (Something for the Rest of Us)
Johnny knows how to make emotions match the words that he writes. Say these words to yourself. "...if the world has worn you down/And I'll be waiting/So please come home" ...Did you do that? Good. Now, listen to Notbroken.
Just missing the cut... Naked, Name, Let Love in, Here is Gone, Two Days in February
Favorite Songs written by Robby Takac
Robby's scratchy voice turns many off, but, early in the band's career, his voice drove their punk leanings and helped them to get signed. Robby typically is very blunt... He gets right to his point, both musically and lyrically. I believe that if someone with a little bit smoother voice performed his songs, people would pay more attention as they could relate to a lot of things that he talks about with his lyrics. With that in mind, I'll just give you some lyrics as evidence of how he keeps it real.
1. Up, Up, Up
"Are you listening now?/Are you feeling that way?/Aren't you terrified?/Of breaking up, too tired to try again?/Are you happy now that you've shut yourself down?/Aren't you paralyzed by all the nonsense that's gone down?/I know you're gonna see these things someday"
2. Amigone
"Every time you point your finger/Three more point right back at you/I'm not saying that there's something wrong with life/Cuz that's a sad excuse"
3. January Friend
"Let’s pretend/My January friend/I’m wantin’ you again/I wanna touch you/Every single heart that beats pretend"
P.S. The Goos are from Buffalo, NY...
4. Slave Girl
This song is just kinda humorous to me. "Let me tell you 'bout a girl I know/I drag her around wherever I go/This little woman drives me insane/She's tied to my ankle with a ball-and-chain."
5. Out of Sight
Very old GGD song: "You really thought you had me/Thought you'd put me in my place" ...And elsewhere... "You tell me you got a wife/I heard she's fat/You got a kid/An' I got a cat"
Just missing the cut... Now I Hear, Laughing, Sex Maggot
For funsies, I'll rank the covers:
1. Never Take the Place of Your Man
This is an old Prince song. Lance Diamond's vocals somehow fit really well with the raw, hollow sound of 80's Goo guitar.
2. Down on the Corner
Pretty decent cover of CCR's classic. Again, Lance Diamond, a local radio personality at the time, provides the vocals.
(Distant) 3. Give a Little Bit
Okay, so, I'm pretty much just putting this one on here because I think that it's lame and wanted to make a little fun of it... I could be doing this for catharsis, I guess, because this work is about the only thing that the band has ever done that I don't like.
Coming soon, I'll rank the albums and give a detailed breakdown.
Special thanks to Paul Green for his encouragement.
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