Die, TV... die

Television as we know it is dying, and I, for one, am thrilled.

I am frustrated by the following things when it comes to television... 24-hour "news" networks, blackouts of sports programming, paying for channels that one never watches, and, oh, yeah, 3-6 minute commercial breaks.

Insult to free speech: CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, etc.
24-hour "news" networks are an abomination. I will come right out and tell you that I use the internet (because I can read a story and then quickly read something else) and watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report when I feel like keeping up with the world. "Oh, but Bernard," you politely jest, "aren't you just a nerd? Nerds watch that stuff. TV isn't hurting anyone." I may or may not be a nerd, and, if I am, I'm not a very good one in that I have never once played "Magic, the Gathering," don't pass time by doing Calculus for fun, and don't speak Klingon (though I do, it is true, know what all those things are). The reason that I watch TDS and TCR is because they do not pretend to be what they are not. They inform us and entertain us at the same time. They do not have so-called "news room" segments that are nothing but some family bitching about mistreatment by a company. And, for the visually-oriented, it's not like one cannot watch video clips of hurricanes online.

I believe that news channels, and modern journalism in general, is more entertainment than it is who, what, where, when, how, and why. "Just the facts, Jack" is boring to many. "Sex sells" in advertising and movies, but opinions and stance-taking sell in journalism. We like to converse... we seemingly live off of it. We eat up columns, rankings, polls, video clips and photos because we like to connect with others, whether through arguing or agreeing. We want to know what people think. Journalism is entertainment. Older journalists can lament the loss of good journalism, the honest observer who comments from afar and lets the consumer make his/her own judgments, and I see their point, but those days are not coming back. Modern journalism is trending towards news entertainment, and, in my opinion, what makes the 24-hour news shows so evil is that they are pretending to be something that they aren't. Call it entertainment! Stop making your millions off of people who have not learned to know what you are up to.

Note: To be fair, understand that I, as well, believe that my column is entertainment for you. It's for your reading pleasure, your agreeing/disagreeing pleasure, as well as for my own sake. By joining the blogosphere, I openly declare myself as an observer and commenter who hopes that you will enjoy his writing style, tell all your friends to read my work, and that I will maybe, someday, be able to make enough money or gain enough popularity such that I will be able to pay off my student loans and travel around the world. I've done myself a disservice by waiting so long to get started with a writing career. I ask you to support me in this. If I am not entertaining you, let me know what I can do better.

Blackouts
I'll sum up my feelings for blackouts with a quick pretend condescending comment by a network executive:
No, little boy, you can't watch that Royals-Rockies game on the Altitude channel in Denver even though the game is in Denver. Fox Sports Kansas City is not showing the game, so you don't get to watch it."

My loathing for commercials
Yes, it's true that I love the new DQ "Hiking" commercial, so much so that I recorded an audio tribute clip to it on phone, but, on the whole, I can't stand the damn things. I don't mind the occasional commercial while I watch a TV show online... I usually have to watch about 6 fewer minutes of commercial per half-hour show. When I sit down to watch something, I want to watch that, and nothing else.
Besides, long commercial breaks are nonsensical in that they are very unlikely to achieve their goal of increased sales by people seeing their promo... folks just leave the room and come back 5 minutes later.

What bugs me perhaps more than any of this stuff is that there always seems to be an excuse. "Oh, it's to get fans in the stadium." ... "Well, people keep watching, and we keep making money, so we'll keep the channels on." Blah, blah, blah. It's about money. As long as they keep making money, they will keep doing things the way that they have been doing them as long as they can still turn a profit. (They being the corporate bureaucrats who make decisions.

All of this said, I comfort myself by noting the following trends currently going on, leading me to believe that the role of regularly-scheduled TV broadcasting.
1. Movies being on demand at home.More and more people use Netflix to watch movies. Imagine that most in the country pay the same price for a monthly subscription to Netflix as they do for one ticket to a big-screen movie (or less, especially for a 3D movie). Watching movies on TV channels that show commercials during the film is about as frustrating as being an Oakland A's fan, waiting for your team to score runs to support the awesome pitchers.
2. Sports programming being available online. One can watch pretty much every single major league baseball game of the entire season for $120... for the entire season... Why would one pay $35-90/month for DirecTV if the main reason that he got it was to watch baseball? People of the younger generations are less intimidated (or not at all) of the internet than the older folks, which leads me to...
3. The passing of the older generation.Trust me, I'm going to miss my grandmother when she dies more than anything in the world... I will be more heartbroken than if the Royals left town, the Jayhawks quit playing basketball, Sam Brownback became president, all the cocoa-producing plants in the world suddenly all died, and both Dream Theater and the Goo Goo Dolls broke up... all at once. That said, older people have always relied on TV and newspaper for news and entertainment. If you will suffer me to give you a quick anecdote, read the following: once, I got so frustrated with a TV broadcast from one of the ridiculous 24-hour "news" channels, I asked Grama point-blank: Why do you watch this crap? Her response? "I like to know what's going on."

Of course, HD TVs are all the rage now, but, as the economy continues to struggle, and energy prices continue to soar, perhaps fewer and fewer people will buy the expensive, though brilliant, TVs, and maybe just buy hi-def monitors instead. As this happens more and more, perhaps all of those things that I hate will die, and the internet can lead a joyful revolution.

Ranking the Goo Goo Dolls' songs

The Goos are, depending on the day, my second-through-fifth favorite musical artist.
They have some wonderful songs, portraying an emotional honesty and rawness that has always drawn me in. Here are my rankings in three categories. The band members are Johnny Rzeznik [REZ-nik], guitar and vocals, Robby Takac, bass and vocals, and Mike Malinin, drums.

Notes: The only caveat to this list is that I do not know any songs from the first release because I don't have enough money to buy it just to add it to my collection. Also, songs written by Johnny that aren't GGD songs are not under consideration. So, for example, songs from the movie Treasure Planet are not eligible. I included the duets in my considerations for the list of Johnny songs. Johnny and Robby's songs are ranked separately because they are, in general, two verydifferent kinds of animal.

Favorite Songs written by Johnny Rzeznik:
To be honest, I'm ranking these largely from my gut reactions. I will say, though, that, in order to determine which are the best, and figure my gut reactions out, I asked myself if the song was the best of what Johnny's songs typically offer: emotional honesty, passionate expression, and rawness. (Album on which it appears in parentheses.)

1. Black Balloon (Dizzy up the Girl)

I can never get sick of listening to this song. It's largely assumed that this song is about the emotional turmoil of one's feelings for a girl who is addicted to illegal drugs. (I agree.) Many would put Iris in the top spot, but I feel that Black Balloon speaks more to emotional struggle... Johnny's really good at tapping into emotional struggle and how it affects us.

2. It's Over (Gutterflower)

A song few know because it was never released as a single, probably because it is not very radio friendly. If you've ever had an intimate relationship end on someone else's terms, you may be able to relate to the strong shift in Johnny's vocal delivery and the guitar effects used between the verses and the choruses.

3. Truth is a Whisper (Gutterflower)

From the foreshadowingly-downplayed mood of the musical introduction, the listener can sense that he/she is about to be taken on quite the emotional ride. Such a perfect way to close an album. Imagine yourself with shoulder-length straight hair, really letting the mood of the song dictate how you would sing this song, falling down over your eyes and across your cheeks as you jam, and you will know what I mean.

4. Iris (Dizzy up the Girl)

Johhny sure can write a soundtrack song, can't he? If you don't know this song or why people love it, you probably lived under the proverbial rock in the late 90s. If you did, watch "City of Angels." Then, listen to Iris. It's a wonderful song. Case closed.

5. Notbroken (Something for the Rest of Us)

Johnny knows how to make emotions match the words that he writes. Say these words to yourself. "...if the world has worn you down/And I'll be waiting/So please come home" ...Did you do that? Good. Now, listen to Notbroken.

Just missing the cut... Naked, Name, Let Love in, Here is Gone, Two Days in February

Favorite Songs written by Robby Takac
Robby's scratchy voice turns many off, but, early in the band's career, his voice drove their punk leanings and helped them to get signed. Robby typically is very blunt... He gets right to his point, both musically and lyrically. I believe that if someone with a little bit smoother voice performed his songs, people would pay more attention as they could relate to a lot of things that he talks about with his lyrics. With that in mind, I'll just give you some lyrics as evidence of how he keeps it real.

1. Up, Up, Up

"Are you listening now?/Are you feeling that way?/Aren't you terrified?/Of breaking up, too tired to try again?/Are you happy now that you've shut yourself down?/Aren't you paralyzed by all the nonsense that's gone down?/I know you're gonna see these things someday"

2. Amigone

"Every time you point your finger/Three more point right back at you/I'm not saying that there's something wrong with life/Cuz that's a sad excuse"

3. January Friend

"Let’s pretend/My January friend/I’m wantin’ you again/I wanna touch you/Every single heart that beats pretend"

P.S. The Goos are from Buffalo, NY...

4. Slave Girl

This song is just kinda humorous to me. "Let me tell you 'bout a girl I know/I drag her around wherever I go/This little woman drives me insane/She's tied to my ankle with a ball-and-chain."

5. Out of Sight

Very old GGD song: "You really thought you had me/Thought you'd put me in my place" ...And elsewhere... "You tell me you got a wife/I heard she's fat/You got a kid/An' I got a cat"

Just missing the cut... Now I Hear, Laughing, Sex Maggot

For funsies, I'll rank the covers:
1. Never Take the Place of Your Man

This is an old Prince song. Lance Diamond's vocals somehow fit really well with the raw, hollow sound of 80's Goo guitar.

2. Down on the Corner

Pretty decent cover of CCR's classic. Again, Lance Diamond, a local radio personality at the time, provides the vocals.
(Distant) 3. Give a Little Bit

Okay, so, I'm pretty much just putting this one on here because I think that it's lame and wanted to make a little fun of it... I could be doing this for catharsis, I guess, because this work is about the only thing that the band has ever done that I don't like.

Coming soon, I'll rank the albums and give a detailed breakdown.

Special thanks to Paul Green for his encouragement.