P!nk wins.
Because Fergie sucks, that's why.
Because P!nk does not, that's why.
Fergie almost single-voicedly ruined the Super Bowl half-time show. P!nk's style would fit in great with a football game... Plus the dancers would not have to suffer the embarrassment of not being in-sync... they could just jam to the beat.
Fergie tries to sing like a rocker. P!nk can actually do it, and does it better than a lot of mainstream rock stars, regardless of gender. I'm talking to you, Green-Day lead singer guy.
P!nk did "Raise your Glass," which provides emotional support for social outcasts. Fergie needed the other members of Black-Eyed Peas to even accomplish the recording of a passably-lame song that pretends to care about the children of the world, "Where is the Love?"
P!nk has an I-will-bite-your-nose-off-if-you-sass-me attitude. Fergie has a look-at-my-boobs-that's-why-I'm-famous attitude. Fergie shows off those boobs as much as she can. P!nk has a nose ring.
P!nk's stage name is better than Fergie's. As a matter of fact, P!nk's real name (Alecia) is better than Fergie's stage name. Yup, P!nk would be a better pop star than Fergie even if she just went by Alecia and never died her hair.
P!nk could kick your ass, while Fergie does not sound even slightly good without Slash. (Yes, I realize that the two points do not relate to each other. I just like the rhyme.)
P!nk sounds cool live, at least on this Youtube video. Fergie... well.... let's just say she can't even keep up with the over-rated Axl Rose. Skip to 4:15 to get an idea of what I mean.
Fergie tries to sing radio-friendly songs. P!nk doesn't care if her content isn't family friendly. Heck, Alecia doesn't even care if she has words bleeped out.
So, like I said, P!nk wins.
Note: In short, what you have basically just read is an oversimplified, fallacy-ridden post about why I don't like Fergie and think that P!nk is more worth one's time to listen to and money spent. I was biased against Fergie long before I realized that I really respected P!nk. I want to clink glasses and party at a club with P!nk. I want someone to punch Fergie in the face... not a guy, because that would be wrong.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Bernard Spiel tells you about standing outside the fire... or not
Nope. I am totally walking inside the fire, hoping that I get burned.
In a series of posts that I will hope will be wildly successful such that it will double my followers, I will break down, or (for those of you who like bigger words) analyze song lyrics.
How does one stand in the fire? Well, it's a country song, so it's not like it's hard to figure out. Here are the lyrics to "Standing Outside the Fire" as recorded by Garth Brooks.
So, to stand inside the fire, one simply has to do the opposite of what the song says that many do. That being wait around for love, or, worse yet, not try for it at all. But, and perhaps this is a criticism of a song that I loved growing up, how many people really don't try for love? Most of us, each in our own way, no matter what love means to us, try for love. Even the religiously celibate pursue a close personal relationship with their Creator.
In other words, this song is merely an affirmation of a lifestyle of continuing to "take a chance [that] love might exist." The chorus goes on to say "I can't abide standing outside the fire," effectively using a word that pretty much no one uses in a song that discusses an otherwise common topic, that of "taking a chance on love."
So, cheers to this single from 1993's "In Pieces" album for following the tried-and-true guideline for successful country lyric song-writing: tell the folks something that they already know, and probably already do. Oh, and if you make a video, the use of a little fire probably wouldn't hurt. (Skip to about 1:57 in to see some awesome early-90s pyrotechnics. Hey, it beats what Billy Joel did.)
Oh, and, of course, the video has nothing to do with someone chasing love... it depicts a disabled kid trying to make the regular track team. C'est la vie.
In a series of posts that I will hope will be wildly successful such that it will double my followers, I will break down, or (for those of you who like bigger words) analyze song lyrics.
How does one stand in the fire? Well, it's a country song, so it's not like it's hard to figure out. Here are the lyrics to "Standing Outside the Fire" as recorded by Garth Brooks.
We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk it the tables being turned
We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always come with getting burned
But you got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
So, to stand inside the fire, one simply has to do the opposite of what the song says that many do. That being wait around for love, or, worse yet, not try for it at all. But, and perhaps this is a criticism of a song that I loved growing up, how many people really don't try for love? Most of us, each in our own way, no matter what love means to us, try for love. Even the religiously celibate pursue a close personal relationship with their Creator.
In other words, this song is merely an affirmation of a lifestyle of continuing to "take a chance [that] love might exist." The chorus goes on to say "I can't abide standing outside the fire," effectively using a word that pretty much no one uses in a song that discusses an otherwise common topic, that of "taking a chance on love."
So, cheers to this single from 1993's "In Pieces" album for following the tried-and-true guideline for successful country lyric song-writing: tell the folks something that they already know, and probably already do. Oh, and if you make a video, the use of a little fire probably wouldn't hurt. (Skip to about 1:57 in to see some awesome early-90s pyrotechnics. Hey, it beats what Billy Joel did.)
Oh, and, of course, the video has nothing to do with someone chasing love... it depicts a disabled kid trying to make the regular track team. C'est la vie.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
The secret to cliff-jumping
I, Bernard Spiel, nom de plum maker extraordinaire (according to the only opinion that matters in self-ego feeding, my own), have discovered for myself the secret to finding the guts to overcome the death-will-come-to-you-if-you-do-this inhibitor that is largely present in human psyche, at least as it applies to cliff-jumping. Read on!
Before you attempt to jump off a cliff for the first time, shout a battle cry. The battle cry can be anything. For me, I shouted TROGDOR!!! the first couple of times, and, then, I started to shout names of bands that I liked.
Funny expressions can also work. Really, anything that gets your blood flowing a little, getting you excited for the plunge, is worth a shot.
Just take a couple of steps, proclaim your phrase of choice, leave the rocky security beneath you feet, and enjoy the free fall!
It worked for me, and for my good friend who brought me with him to his family's vacation spot, so, perhaps, it will work for you.
Happy jumping!
P.S. You may wish to point your toes if you pencil dive. Just f.y.i.
Before you attempt to jump off a cliff for the first time, shout a battle cry. The battle cry can be anything. For me, I shouted TROGDOR!!! the first couple of times, and, then, I started to shout names of bands that I liked.
Funny expressions can also work. Really, anything that gets your blood flowing a little, getting you excited for the plunge, is worth a shot.
Just take a couple of steps, proclaim your phrase of choice, leave the rocky security beneath you feet, and enjoy the free fall!
It worked for me, and for my good friend who brought me with him to his family's vacation spot, so, perhaps, it will work for you.
Happy jumping!
P.S. You may wish to point your toes if you pencil dive. Just f.y.i.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Ranking the Goo Goo Dolls' albums
This will be quick and simple.
The criteria for best Goo Goo Dolls albums are my 1) opinions on the quality of the songs and 2) overall cohesiveness of the album. Overall cohesiveness, in this sense, is, basically, answered by the following question: can the listener sit down and listen to the album straight through without feeling that the flow is broken up? In other words, do the songs on the album gel together? So, from least-awesome to most awesome, with the 5 best songs from each album listed in no particular order after my justification of location in the rankings, here we go.
Note: As mentioned in the song rankings, I've never heard the songs from First Release, so I cannot judge that album.
8. Jed (1989)
This album, while a lot of fun if one is in a punky mood, just does not compare with the rest of their body of work. Something is rather odd with the sound production of the album. Or maybe it's that the words are hard to understand... makes you wonder if they were inebriated during the production. Hmmm...
Best Songs: Down on the Corner, Up Yours, Sex Maggot, Out of Sight, 7th of Last Month (or Iggy the Cat Gets a Bath)
7. Something for the Rest of Us (2010)
Despite the fact that I love "Notbroken," this album falls way down here because I feel that "Sweetest Lie" sounds nothing like a Goo Goo Dolls song. Even if it has some pop appeal, it's just not them. Also, I don't feel that the album fits together very well. Some great tracks, but the album relies heavily on lyrical content, so much so that, even though the lyrics are nice, they're a little too over-generalized for me. The sounds of the album are good, though. I enjoy the music.
Best Songs: Notbroken, Still your Song, Home, Say You're Free, As I Am
6. Hold me Up (1990)
More well-produced than Jed, more fluid delivery of the songs throughout. This album actually has pretty good cohesion, but the songs on here just aren't as good as the Goos would show that they could do later.
Best Songs: Laughing, Never Take the Place of your Man, Two Days in February, Hey, Just the Way you Are
5. A Boy Named Goo (1995)
I really feel that this album put the band on the brink of greatness. Some wonderful songs, and actually some truly excellent lyric-writing. Musically, though, this album doesn't seem to quite flow together as well. Individually, though, each song has good merit and is worth your time to check out... especially the five listed below.
Best Songs: Long Way Down, Naked, Name, Something Bad, Burning Up
4. Superstar Car Wash (1993)
Superstar and Boy are rather similar, but I like the guitar effects on Superstar better, and I feel that this album is more cohesive than its immediate post-decessor (if you will). The lyrics are very straightforward, for the most part, so this is an album that a new Goo Goo Dolls listener might find helpful to listen to in order to get a good idea of the character of the band... at least as far as song-writing is concerned. Superstar Car Wash is a good album to play in the background while you are havin' a couple brews.
Best Songs: String of Lies, Girl Right Next to Me, We are the Normal, Lucky Star, Close Your Eyes
3. Let Love In (2006)
This album is wonderful. It just drips with heartfelt emotion. It's a good album for end-of-a-relationship catharsis. Only knock on this one is that the flow is just SLIGHTLY off, probably because one may find him/herself so excited to hear the songs listed below that he/she may skip over what's in between. More to the point, the Goos' cover of "Give a Little Bit" is on this album, and I find it lame, so, I skip over it.
Best Songs: Better Days, Without you Here, Can't Let it Go, Let Love in, Feel the Silence
2. Dizzy up the Girl (1998)
The song-writing on this album is, well, dizzying... four top-twenty hits, and hidden gems like "Bullet Proof," "Hate this Place," and "Acoustic #3," not to mention Robby's excellent contributions of gravely delight, "January Friend" and "Extra Pale." So, how could I not put this album not be #1, especially when a #1 song is barely in my top five from the album? Read my comments on Gutterflower to find out.
Best Songs: Iris, Black Balloon, Hate this Place, Bullet Proof, Slide
1. Gutterflower (2002)
I love everything about this album... heck, even the design on the CD itself is cool. Gutterflower, to me, is artistic, pleasing, and an album to which one can rock out and get into or play in the background while filling out paperwork. There is enough variety in style to keep the listener interested, and enough similarity for the listener to be sure that he/she is still listening to the same band. If, from reading my comments here, you are tempted to listen to only one Goo Goo Dolls album, let it be this one.
Best Songs: This album is here because there is no drop-off. None of these songs is great as "Iris," "Black Balloon," "Naked," or "Name," but every one of them is within two or three ticks in quality of the others on this album. My personal favorites are: It's Over, Truth is a Whisper, What a Scene, Big Machine, and Up, Up, Up
Members of the Goo Goo Dolls: First Release - Superstar Car Wash: Johnny Rzeznik, vocals and guitar; Robby Takac, vocals and bass; George Tutuska, drums. A Boy Named Goo - present: Rzeznik and Takac, same rolls; Mike Malinin, drums.
The criteria for best Goo Goo Dolls albums are my 1) opinions on the quality of the songs and 2) overall cohesiveness of the album. Overall cohesiveness, in this sense, is, basically, answered by the following question: can the listener sit down and listen to the album straight through without feeling that the flow is broken up? In other words, do the songs on the album gel together? So, from least-awesome to most awesome, with the 5 best songs from each album listed in no particular order after my justification of location in the rankings, here we go.
Note: As mentioned in the song rankings, I've never heard the songs from First Release, so I cannot judge that album.
8. Jed (1989)
This album, while a lot of fun if one is in a punky mood, just does not compare with the rest of their body of work. Something is rather odd with the sound production of the album. Or maybe it's that the words are hard to understand... makes you wonder if they were inebriated during the production. Hmmm...
Best Songs: Down on the Corner, Up Yours, Sex Maggot, Out of Sight, 7th of Last Month (or Iggy the Cat Gets a Bath)
7. Something for the Rest of Us (2010)
Despite the fact that I love "Notbroken," this album falls way down here because I feel that "Sweetest Lie" sounds nothing like a Goo Goo Dolls song. Even if it has some pop appeal, it's just not them. Also, I don't feel that the album fits together very well. Some great tracks, but the album relies heavily on lyrical content, so much so that, even though the lyrics are nice, they're a little too over-generalized for me. The sounds of the album are good, though. I enjoy the music.
Best Songs: Notbroken, Still your Song, Home, Say You're Free, As I Am
6. Hold me Up (1990)
More well-produced than Jed, more fluid delivery of the songs throughout. This album actually has pretty good cohesion, but the songs on here just aren't as good as the Goos would show that they could do later.
Best Songs: Laughing, Never Take the Place of your Man, Two Days in February, Hey, Just the Way you Are
5. A Boy Named Goo (1995)
I really feel that this album put the band on the brink of greatness. Some wonderful songs, and actually some truly excellent lyric-writing. Musically, though, this album doesn't seem to quite flow together as well. Individually, though, each song has good merit and is worth your time to check out... especially the five listed below.
Best Songs: Long Way Down, Naked, Name, Something Bad, Burning Up
4. Superstar Car Wash (1993)
Superstar and Boy are rather similar, but I like the guitar effects on Superstar better, and I feel that this album is more cohesive than its immediate post-decessor (if you will). The lyrics are very straightforward, for the most part, so this is an album that a new Goo Goo Dolls listener might find helpful to listen to in order to get a good idea of the character of the band... at least as far as song-writing is concerned. Superstar Car Wash is a good album to play in the background while you are havin' a couple brews.
Best Songs: String of Lies, Girl Right Next to Me, We are the Normal, Lucky Star, Close Your Eyes
3. Let Love In (2006)
This album is wonderful. It just drips with heartfelt emotion. It's a good album for end-of-a-relationship catharsis. Only knock on this one is that the flow is just SLIGHTLY off, probably because one may find him/herself so excited to hear the songs listed below that he/she may skip over what's in between. More to the point, the Goos' cover of "Give a Little Bit" is on this album, and I find it lame, so, I skip over it.
Best Songs: Better Days, Without you Here, Can't Let it Go, Let Love in, Feel the Silence
2. Dizzy up the Girl (1998)
The song-writing on this album is, well, dizzying... four top-twenty hits, and hidden gems like "Bullet Proof," "Hate this Place," and "Acoustic #3," not to mention Robby's excellent contributions of gravely delight, "January Friend" and "Extra Pale." So, how could I not put this album not be #1, especially when a #1 song is barely in my top five from the album? Read my comments on Gutterflower to find out.
Best Songs: Iris, Black Balloon, Hate this Place, Bullet Proof, Slide
1. Gutterflower (2002)
I love everything about this album... heck, even the design on the CD itself is cool. Gutterflower, to me, is artistic, pleasing, and an album to which one can rock out and get into or play in the background while filling out paperwork. There is enough variety in style to keep the listener interested, and enough similarity for the listener to be sure that he/she is still listening to the same band. If, from reading my comments here, you are tempted to listen to only one Goo Goo Dolls album, let it be this one.
Best Songs: This album is here because there is no drop-off. None of these songs is great as "Iris," "Black Balloon," "Naked," or "Name," but every one of them is within two or three ticks in quality of the others on this album. My personal favorites are: It's Over, Truth is a Whisper, What a Scene, Big Machine, and Up, Up, Up
Members of the Goo Goo Dolls: First Release - Superstar Car Wash: Johnny Rzeznik, vocals and guitar; Robby Takac, vocals and bass; George Tutuska, drums. A Boy Named Goo - present: Rzeznik and Takac, same rolls; Mike Malinin, drums.
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